My social leper status, slow leveling speed and lack of heirloom items aside, yesterday I had a big opportunity present itself to me in Silverpine Forest:
The quest is red. So I need some help. Brilliant. A quick look on who’s in Silverpine and I see a level 17 warrior. Even better – tank and heal. Get in and do the dirty, get the job done and maybe, just maybe, add somebody to my friends list. A tank would be awesome, who needs these crummy dps!
So I give the warrior a whisper: “Do you mind giving me a hand with this quest?”
An answer comes back pretty quickly in the affermative as they have the quest as well. We meet up at the Sepulcher. The warrior is a female Tauran. After many years of playing WoW I no longer make the assumption that a person playing a sex is in real life that sex. But what I do do is to address them as to their sex in the game. So in this case I say, she and her. If it’s some teenage drooler sitting behind his computer who is secretly getting turned on by this, well, there’s nothing that I can do about that, is there.
We group up and start running along the road on our dirty business of assassination. Not much is being said, we’re just grooving along. Until, unexpectedly she comes out with …
“I am a feminist.”
Lets just sit back for a moment and consider our options here. The question is not, what is the best response. The question is, where are we now with this person. For me, at this particular moment in time, the information that she is a feminist is completely irrelevant to me and has no bearing on what we’re doing. It could however, have a huge bearing on whether I add them to my friends list. I considered my options as quickly as I could and I came out with this:
“I like traffic lights.”
I figured that this made just about as much sense as what she had just dumped on me.
“Do you have something against feminists??” she shot back.
“Do you have something against traffic lights??” I swiftly countered.
“I need to know if you are a man,” she said.
“Of course I am, look at me, check out my rotting limbs.”
“In real life.”
I see. It looks like this quest is going to stay red for a time. May as well make the most of it then:
“You wish to know if I am a member of the oppressive male patriarchal society that has downtrodden women since the dawn of time?”
“I do.”
“That depends,” I said.
“Depends on what?”
“If you’re a hawt chick.”
First entry on friends list is still open.
August 11, 2010 at 8:17 am
That was well worth it! :>
August 11, 2010 at 8:18 am
Quite funny
August 11, 2010 at 8:27 am
last friday… party at a friend of mine… its late… only a few left… we are all pretty wasted…
“i am gay!”
“wtf?!”
“i said… i am gay!”
…
“and?”
“you have something against gays?!”
“noone wants to know if you are gay…”
“so you HAVE something against gay!! HA!!!”
“do yourself a favour and shut up…”
“you make me sick… why is it that you people are always so homophobic…”
the person who said he was gay was unknown to all of us… so what the fuck was wrong with him?! its not like we didnt talk to each other… it came out of the blue…
didnt your mom tell you not to talk to strangers? especially female taurens?! and female dwarves too!
August 11, 2010 at 9:28 am
Hahaha. Sorry, but you probably weren’t cut out to be bffs 🙂
You just made my morning 🙂
I hope the next one isn’t so weird.
Actually that’s a lie. This one was so hilarious that I wish you many more weird people. 🙂
August 11, 2010 at 10:02 am
It would have been very hard to think of the funniest response to that, probably because the volumes of possible winners you’d have to go through would be tremendous.
August 11, 2010 at 12:18 pm
his response was pretty good. what else should you say to someone like this?!
August 11, 2010 at 12:41 pm
hahahahah, I’m laughing so hard right now… cuz again, we’re back to what I was saying… why would you want to try to befriend anonymous people inside a video game… all you’ll get is weirdoes and people with issues…
August 11, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Well done sir.
August 11, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Traffic lights are pretty neat.
August 11, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Instant classic
August 11, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Wow… I’m impressed. I’m jealous too that I’d never would have tougth of that answer.
/hats off
August 11, 2010 at 3:33 pm
I like traffic lights, but only when they’re green.
August 11, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Bravo.
August 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Your response would have gotten you added TO my friends list pretty quickly .. too funny.
August 11, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Brilliant retort, very funny. I agree with Repgrind, you’d have got an instant add.
August 11, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Wow, she REALLY hates traffic lights.
August 11, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Reminds me of an old joke:
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.”
She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.”
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”
August 11, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Brilliant 🙂
August 11, 2010 at 11:38 pm
I like Altoids.
August 12, 2010 at 2:14 am
It pleases me greatly to read about someone who shares my instinct for trolling dumb people.
You, sir, have a fan. =)
August 12, 2010 at 6:34 am
she said she was a feminist, not a misandrist she lied!
August 12, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Made me laugh (and my wife).
Nicely done.
August 12, 2010 at 10:01 pm
[…] is a great little post from Adam at The Noisy Rogue looking at the lighter side of feminism. He met a particularly strident feminist […]
August 12, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Wow, that’s funny. I can’t even imagine… in WoW it’s nice because you don’t have to tell that random person you teamed with for one quest that you’re a girl, it doesn’t matter. So… wow.
I would have answered “Your question is forcing me to accept heteronormative, bi-gendered societal constraints that may or may not hinder my acceptance of myself and others as we truly are”. If I could stop laughing that long.
August 13, 2010 at 6:41 am
What the hell does her stance on gender relations have to do with killing something?
I mean, any man in today’s modern world that says a woman belongs in the kitchen is asking for trouble. After all, she knows where the knives are, how to use them, and probably keeps them sharp. Not to mention how to use a peeler on carrots, or how to use a cheese grater!
Like this lady, that was completely off topic…
August 13, 2010 at 10:44 pm
If I had a hat, I would take it off. Traffic lights, the future in gender relations (actually I think this one has been coined by student drinking nights but :)).
September 5, 2010 at 7:01 am
Women like hot men. Most of them are willing to be subordinate slave-women if the guy is hot enough. So I think most of them understand us quite well. Mother nature compels us that getting our shit on is more important than standing up for our equality and dignity. I have had a lot of good looking women treat me like garbage. It’s not the fault of other women, it was my own fault for letting them. Anything for just one chance……….. but the equivalent of the feminist is the whiny little man. And they never get any.