I like a drink. The only thing wrong with that sentence is that it is in the singular form. I mean, why stop at one? Pluralism for the winner. And the world of warcraft lets you get sloshed to your hearts content. Not only that, it actually has a drunken effect. The first time that it happened to me I thought my computer was on the blink and I started bashing on the top of my desktop case. Which was a disaster as it spilt my glass of gin. There are so many ways to find a drink in WoW, they’re even included in quest lines. The Grim Guzzler bar would have to be the pinnacle of all things alcoholic in the game, with a barman as a boss, drunken patrons attempting to drown out the reality of where they live, and an oversized doorman ready to bounce you down the stairs.
The list of beverages to tittle your throat is longer than a night at the opera. Beers, ales, fine wines, ports, brandy, bourbon, rum, crap wine, whatever you can think of is in the game. And they will make you drunk, and everyone will know it. It’s a social thing to do, loosens everyone up, and can be a great cause of friction when you wipe a raid owing to the fact that you drank to much potent beverage and you couldn’t see your screen properly.
But what about a good smoke? If we can drink ourselves into a stupor, why can’t we puff away as well? There certainly are some smoking utensils in the game, with a few pipes, (one an epic), but that’s all there is. You can find some snuff if you know where to look, but you can’t use it. What could be more fitting than a dwarf puffing on a pipe outside an inn? It would be even better if you could rub it into his ugly dwarven face and set his beard on fire. How about that gigantic tauran warrior chomping on a half eaten cigar which smoulders from the side of his mouth? Or a lovely human warlock who daintly puffs on a beautifully tapered cigarette holder whilst calling demons to rip off your face?
A good smoke can be an excellent ice-breaker. I’ve lived in some pretty tricky parts of the world and sometimes found myself in some nasty situations. Producing a packet of fags and offering them to those brutal looking border guards can do wonders to any relationship. Give a hand rolled durrie to a potential source of information and watch him open up like a fresh spring flower. Each part of the world could have their smoke of choice. I can just see Stranglethorn Vale producing the most elegant of fine cigars. And think of the smuggling possibilities! Faction only smokes would cause the neutral auction house to literally catch on fire.
The possibilities are endless. Come on Blizzard, when you release Cataclysm, include some healthy ways to inhale. You know you want to.
September 10, 2010 at 7:50 am
interessting… so fags are a bundle of sticks or cigs. nice to know… my gay friends will hate me from this day on. thanks for this! i will have a nice weekend with this info…
September 10, 2010 at 8:52 am
Never say you’re going outside to smoke a fag in the deep south of america!
I think it’s probably due to this weird kinda double standard we have with booze cigarettes and other drugs. Social acceptability varies a lot. I mean cigarettes used to be fine in pubs up until not long ago but then people started point out the smoke is bad for those around you etc and suddenly its unhealthy. As an ex-smoker I’m completely behind this, at least when you’re going “cold turkey” people don’t walk past you sticking needles in you.
September 10, 2010 at 10:24 am
That would be alot of fun to spam trade chat with “Stack of Goblin Ganja, 200g”.
I wonder what kind of neat contraband us rogues could then pick pocket, other than the soggy hankercheifs, staind tobacco cantainers and dirty romance novels????
Calling a smoke a fag is kinda queer.
September 10, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Yeah, fags are how the British say ‘cigarettes’, but…
I see what you did there.
Kick that hornets’ nest man, i got my can o’ Raid ready.
September 10, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Smoking characters in WoW would be perceived as politically incorrect by a large number of people in most parts of the world. Then one could argue the smokers are underrepresented in this game
Anyhow, I doubt Blizz would risk stirring up the smoking – non smoking debate.
September 10, 2010 at 1:53 pm
I also think that homosexual characters are underrepresented in the game, and it would be nice to see more of them. Thanks for bringing this up.
Oh, wait, that’s not what you meant?
I suspect that as long as Blizzard is HQ’d in California you won’t have tobacco in the game. Marijuana, maybe, but not tobacco.
September 10, 2010 at 2:38 pm
[standard blood elf response]
I imagine the problem is that the humorous effects might be less fun to imitate. Who wants to go around with a Stinky Clothes debuff all the time? Or the Withdrawal debuff? It’s bad enough when a belf gets addicted to bloodthistle.
September 10, 2010 at 2:20 pm
That’s it. I’m taking you off my blog roll.
Say goodbye to the one hit you get from me a week. (It’s usually me anyway)
Ahhh fine Dark Spear Troll Cigars. Hand rolled on the thighs of blue skinned females Trolls. At least that’s what the legend says.
In the real life I’ve gone on many a lengthy quest involving smokes. I’ve looked for random item drops in my couch cushions and car seats to pay for them.
I’ve made the hard choice between paying for food and water, repairing my armor or cigs.
I’ve even farmed random NPCs on the street to bum a smoke.
Alas that was back when I was a lowbie. Now I smoke only the occasional cigar and I only smoke cigs once a year at a friends BBQ.
But I miss it almost everyday.
September 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm
+1 for potentially inflammatory subject line.
Frankly, I’m shocked no one has chimed in with the “OH NO! You can’t have virtual smoking paraphenalia, because it will encourage children to try smoking in RL” argument. Yeah, and I know every underage kid I see playing WoW suddenly can’t control themselves around alcohol.
=)
September 10, 2010 at 7:27 pm
Or home invasion and murder!
September 10, 2010 at 8:39 pm
I can’t find a reference to it on the web but I do remember the late, great Peter Cook ,interviewed on an America TV show, made some comment about needing a fag in his mouth first thing in the morning. That didn’t go down too well.
September 10, 2010 at 8:55 pm
I can just picture that. A true genius.
September 11, 2010 at 1:12 am
I notice the epic pipe has been
REMOVED FROM GAME
D:
September 13, 2010 at 3:05 am
Just when I thought I may have lost faith in you, based on your mea culpa earlier – lol
Nice!