Reports have been streaming in of a highly organised group of girth-challenged gamers who have a major problem with Blizzard’s approach to gaming and fatness. With more than 50% of the USA being overweight, the group are now clamoring for equal representation in the popular online game, World of Warcraft. The group’s spokesperson and figurehead, Eric McCallum, says that Blizzard’s attempts to marginalize them won’t be tolerated. Apparently, from what I’ve been able to garner from their fat-blog forum, which I’m not going to link to but you know you want to google it, they thought things were going well with the whole Panda expansion. I’m just going to quote from their site because seriously, I couldn’t make this shit up:
“… We thought we were going down a good road with the Pandas cause they’re fat and cuddly and all that, but now with the new expansion we’ve seen Blizzard pulling back and now its time to make a stand. We represent at least 50% of Blizzard’s US playerbase, at least!!, and they have to get with the program or we’re going to flex it for them to see! For a start, there isn’t one single fat statue in the whole of Azeroth. Think about that, not one overweight statue. That’s just symptomatic, man. Symptomatic of this whole conspiracy against fat people. If there was one major lore figure on Azeroth who was fat, then by rights there would be a statue to match this figure, and then we could figure on at least some representation …”
And it goes on and on and on and fucking on. I find it highly amusing that they reckon they have 50% of the US player-base. I would have thought that it would be much higher than that. So they’re asking for new classes, (apparently the monk was too ‘fit’), fat monsters and mobs and even a whole raid based around fatness. I kid you not, this shit is making the feminazis look downright reasonable. Soon they’ll be wanting a whole fat city. Christ knows what they think of the Undercity with its rather thin undead population.
Anyway, I’m wondering what’s next. Not enough Muslims in WoW?