Tis the season for Noblegarden. Here’s me being honest with you – I don’t do holiday events. I don’t care about them, I think they’re dumb, and for me the azure proto-drake will be cause for laughing at someone for wasting so much time on a stupid enterprise. If you want to talk one of your male friends into playing WoW, whatever you do, don’t try and do this during Noblegarden week. Bunny rabbits, kissing girls in dresses, mating bunnies, finding eggs … need I say more? Although if you’re trying to talk your girlfriend into playing WoW, this would be the perfect time. For me, the only holiday event that has any coolness at all is the Brewfest week. Drinking beer! Ohla!

But I would partake in Noblegarden if it was cool. If it was risque. If it wasn’t a whole heap of lameness. Here’s some ideas to make Noblegarden awesome. Assume that these new achievements are in addition to those already set for this holiday event.

New Noblegarden Achievements.

1. Fuming Bride.

For this achievement you must smear a chocolate egg all over the lovely dress of a noblegarden bride whilst wearing a tuxedo. The dress will be ruined for 30 minutes and the player wearing the dress will not be able to un-equip it for that time.

2. Laughing Bride.

Wear a lovely wedding dress for 30 minutes without having some loser in a tuxedo smear chocolate all over it. In addition, if you manage during this time to smear chocolate over someone wearing a tuxedo, then all your stats will be buffed by 50 for one day. This effect stacks

3. We’re hunting rabbits.

Travel to the enemy factions level 5 areas and kill as many players in bunny form as you can within a 20 minute period. Number of rabbits killed awards different achievements.

10 enemy rabbits killed
20 enemy rabbits killed
50 enemy rabbits killed
100 enemy rabbits killed (awards title Elmer Fudd)

4. Killer rabbits.

A random buff from opening an egg. Changes you into what seems to be a harmless and defenseless bunny rabbit. In actual fact each of your stats have been boosted by 500. Turn on those enemy players scything through your rabbit friends and take revenge in horrible ways. Buff lasts 60 minutes.