Dear Blizzard,

I feel that I have been a bit mean to you lately. I don’t think that this is very fair. I mean, even though I give you money every month to play a game which you can ban me from if I do ‘naughty’ things, I should be grateful for the opportunity that I have to play in your wonderfully created worlds. So in the spirit of 22 minutes, I also just want to say that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for Ghostcrawler. Yes I understand that he was a marine biologist with okay one-liners that you thought would be cool to respond to us occasionally on the forums. We thought that it would be nice too. Who were we to imagine that the very idea of criticism has thus far not penetrated into the bowels of the world of fish?

I’m sorry for saying nasty things about Hellfire Peninsula. It is a very nice place indeed. If you have a flying mount.

I’m also sorry for all those people who keep spending 5000 gold on an epic flying mount for their alts and didn’t realise that the normal one now goes at 150% speed.

I’m sorry for saying nasty things about your inability to fix vanish. We know that you’re trying, we really do. And I’m going to say a pre-emptive sorry for the future in case I use vanish in a way that it should not be used but I wasn’t aware of it and I get banned from the game. In which case I will again say sorry so that you let me back in again.

I’m sorry for doing nasty things in PvP like letting people be killed by monsters after I almost take them down to zero myself. This is obviously bad and evil of me. I thiought that killing someone was already evil but apparently not killing them and letting them be in fact killed by a murloc is even worse. I can understand, I wouldn’t want to be killed by a murlock either.

I’m sorry for not participating at all , ever, in your holiday events. I promise to try and show some interest in them in the future. Maybe I’ll go and kill one of the holiday bosses!

I’m sorry for giving you grief about your new LFG system. I should learn to accept things I don’t like and not use them, so I promise not to use it again.

I’m sorry that your B team is now working on WoW. I’m also sorry for saying that you have a ‘B’ team. That would imply that they are not as good as your ‘A’ team which is currently working on your new secret MMO. We should treat your game teams like those schools that don’t have athetics races anymore because they don’t want the kid who comes last to feel bad. So lets just call them, ‘the other team’. Would that be okay?

I’m sorry for your other team that has to spend all their time making new non-combat pets instead of doing something interesting. But hey, that’s what you get when you let the general masses into a game! By the way, are those new dances ready yet?

I’m sorry that the Lich King is dead already. Well, I’m not that sorry because he was really annoying, but it just makes flying around Northrend and beating on the Scourge pretty pointless now. Maybe you could make the Cataclysm boss not as annoying? I’m sorry that my fire mage is probably going to be pretty fucking useless against that boss.

I’m sorry that players keep asking you to nerf rogues. It’s not nice of them to do this and behalf of them all I would like to apologise for them and let you know that the best punishment that you can give them is to buff rogues every time they ask you to nerf us. That would show them!