So I was doing a battleground, warsong gulch I think it was, which I hate cause everyone who is anyone who is someone knows that the alliance suck new born babies poopy diapers when it comes to winning WG and last night I did one where we won the first 2 flags and still managed to lose so that was 30 minutes of my life down the drain, thank you very fucking much but you wouldn’t care would you, you stupid paladin that wouldn’t heal me when I was dying in the tunnel with the flag because you wanted to take it and “win the battle for everyone” and be the big fucking hero, well how stupid did you look when I dropped the flag, (due to being dead, that’s right, dead – you left me to die so you could be a hero), and that tauran standing over my inert corpse picked it up instead, and our chat disolved into a shitstorm of accusations and drama while the horde calmly ran in 3 flags, but I digress.

It was WG and I got a whisper from an unknown person on my realm asking me if I wanted to join a group for WG. That’s fucking weird, I thought, seeing as I’m already in WG, but then before I whispered him and showed him that I am a fucking n00b I managed to grasp the fact that he meant WINTERGRASP, so I said yeah, can I finish this battleground first? and he said, is it warsong gulch? and I said yeah, and he said no fucking way, so I split the group, (and found out afterwards that they won), and got hearthed into Dalaran and then got to WG where I asked a really stupid fucking question:

“So what’s our strategy?”

“Win, just win!”
“Just kill them all!”
“We know what to do, what are you trying to say???”

And I died a little inside cause I knew what this meant and sure enough we got in there and I killed a few guards and got the leiutenant rank and started churning out seige engines that nobody wanted to use cause they were all up doing something else and then the horde came in about 400 of them and ate my fucking face and burnt and destroyed all my hard earned seige engines, and then I got on my mount and rode around the back towards the other workshop and then a stupid lone horde paladin on his own actually attacked me when I had just about the maximum tenacity buff and I ate him for breakfast and then jumped up and down on his corpse and then I got to the other workshop and made more sieges and catapaults and stuff but it was too late and then we lost as fucking usual I hate this realm what the hell was Gevlon thinking??

And then today, like just an hour ago I was in Warsong gulch, (losing of course), and I got a whisper from someone on my realm who asked me if I wanted to join a VoA …

Holy fucking bucket of snot!!

So I said yes as you would expect and dropped that BG faster than a hot biscuit and got summoned and in we went, and even though I now have crap gear as opposed to everyone else in the whole fucking WoW universe cause I haven’t stepped foot into ICC because the lich king can go and suck my cock, I still managed to pull third on the meters so suck that up, yeah baby! Except for a little problem. We got to the ice boss and we got him to 18% or something but the stupid ranged dps didn’t attack the floaty globe and we wiped. And then we wiped again. And again. And then a bunch of people left, (the ones who we were all hoping would leave and then we got some more good ones and then …

My phone rang.

It’s my wife.


Shit, piss, fuck, wank.

“Yeah, hello, whadayawant?” [click, click, click, move, zoom, turn]

“Hi honey, could you be a doll and pick me up from the ski lift? The others had to go and I went on alone. Gee, it’s so cold out here. Come and get me soon, thanks darling. Click.


“Um, I’m really sorry guys, but I have to go, good luck with the rest of the run and I hope you get them all down.”

Pick up wife. Log back on. Immediately get whisper from other rogue in raid who was uber-uber-geared. Apparently 3 rogue pieces dropped. They got sharded. Not to worry I suppose. I’ll just go in again the next time our faction wins wintergrasp on our server where the horde outnumber us 50000000000000 to 1.