[Host]: Good evening everyone once again, and welcome to our continuing interviews featuring the background cast from World of Warcraft. Tonight our very special guest, direct from the Undercity, is Jeremiah Payson. Jeremiah, welcome to the show.
[Jeremiah]: Thanks Dale, nice to be here.
[Host]: So you sell cockroaches as pets.
[Host]: Well, my first question is, how did you fall into this line of work?
[Jeremiah]: You have to understand something here first. Us undead don’t need a job, cause we don’t need to eat or sleep. It’s kind of pointless having a job, kind of pointless the whole fucking thing really, so I thought I’d take the most stupid fucking job I could just so I could act all depressed and shit and talk crap to morons who come and bother me. So I decided to sell cockraoches, just to see if I could, you know?
[Host]: Go on.
[Jeremiah]: And the crazy thing is, people buy them. Can you believe that? I mean, they’re fucking cockroaches for fucks sake and apart from that, they’re everywhere in Undercity. It’s like the place is built on them. I don’t have them trained or anything. Someone asks me for a cockraoch and I bend over and pick one of ’em up and give it to this dipshit and then they pay me. And you know what the really depressing thing about all of this is?
[Host]: Tell us.
[Jeremiah]: I’m making more money now than I ever did when I was alive. And I had a farm and stuff and we worked hard. What I should have done was just sit down and sell fucking cockraoches.
[Host]: So business is good?
[Jeremiah]: I’ve got a big place up on Facedrool Avenue. Got a jaccuzzi and a great view. Got a bunch of servents and stuff. And all from cockraoches. Or all from morons maybe.
[Host]: What about people who buy your cockroaches just to put them up on the Auction House for much larger sums of money?
[Jeremiah]: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
[Host]: OK, moving right along … you’re well known for being depressed and people try to cheer you up a lot.
[Jeremiah]: Have you ever had a bad day?
[Host]: of course.
[Jeremiah]: And have you ever had someone try and ‘cheer you up’?
[Host]: I suppose so.
[Jeremiah]: It fucking sucks. There’s nothing worse than being depressed and having some drunk imbicile come up and try and give you flowers and kiss you for the love of god just to make you feel better. I tell you, every time I’m starting to feel just a little bit better, some moron comes along and it starts all over again.
[Host]: Do you have any cockroaches on you now?
[Jeremiah]: Yeah, I got a couple here.
[Host]: Lets have a look. Yeah, they’re not bad. How much for them?
[Jeremiah]: 50 silver.
[Host]: I’ll take a couple. One for my mum as well.
[Jeremiah]: There you go.
[Host]: Jeremiah, thanks very much for stopping by.