I got a whisper from an unknown quantity wanting to know if I wanted to do a Blackfathom Deeps run. I was helping some other players fight some elite mobs but on hearing this I dropped that group like a hot potato. There’s some good rogue loots in BFD and I desperately need some upgrades. I joined the group and saw that only one player was in the Ashenvale area. As I handed in a couple of quests I dinged 24 so I let them know that I wanted to level up my skills in Stormwind and they were fine with that. I got to Stormwind and did what I had to do. By this stage the others had all made it to Ashenvale but on the map I noticed that they were running across the map towards the Raynewood Retreat, in other words in the opposite direction from where the instance is located. This was troubling. They had also been carrying on a conversation for some time debating whether it was more fun playing WoW on weed or acid. I was beginning to have sincere doubts about how this was going to proceed.

Somehow they sorted themselves out and eventually I got a summons. There was a paladin tank, a paladin healer, a warlock and another rogue. Clearing up to the entrance went well, and then we cleared the mobs to the first pool. Swimming across I suddenly remembered the old BFD jumping test that was looming, but I cleared the obstacles with epic grace as did the other rogue. Then we waited there while the other party members spent a good deal of time falling into the water. As we proceeded I noticed that the other rogue wasn’t watching her threat. At all. In all other aspects she was very skilled, but the tank wasn’t getting a look-in. I sent her a whisper to give the tank a few more second before unloading and I got the reply that she didn’t speak English.

The first boss went down without too many issues and we proceeded down towards the murlocks, but now I was beginning to understand that the real issue here was the tank. From the previous conversation I knew that he was stoned but that still didn’t quite excuse the total lack of initiative now on display. He seemed unable to pull any mobs. We would stand there, and he would stand there, and someone would suggest something, and still nothing would happen, and on and on and on. The other rogue decided that enough was enough and she became the expert puller, creeping in to distract, hit a sap, gouge another one while running full pelt back to us whereon finally the tank shambled forward as threads of drool hung down from his chin. At this point I would unload as the other rogue had no chance of dumping the threat until we balanced things out somewhat while the tank ran back and forth wondering what day it was.

The rogue began to just use her bow to pull, even on bosses. I pleaded with the tank to at least mark some of the mobs so we would have a vague idea of who we needed to take down. This happened occasionally. Other times it didn’t. We wiped once when the rogue pulled a bunch of mobs at once and the warlock forgot that he had AoE attacks. Finally we got to the second last boss, where we got him down. I bent down to light one of the flames and as I stood up I saw that three other players had done exactly the same thing. Oh oh. The walls opened up and we got pounded. Somehow one of the paladins didn’t die and managed to rez everyone and then we took out each group one by one. Unfortunately the door to the final boss refused to open due to some bug. I had got zero drops as everything had been mail or cloth and the whole thing had taken over two hours from first contact. I thanked the others for the run, polite to the end. They all agreed that it was a great group. I hearthed the fuck outta there.