Let’s face it, Zoe Quinn, the woman who sprung #GamerGate to life is flat out crazy. Which probably means that the sex was pretty good. Considering she used to take her clothes off for money, (known in the game as ‘stripping’), I’m sure she knows how to have a rollicking good time.

Unfortunately, her best known roll in the sack resulted in her tango partner revealing all to the world and it quickly spun out of control. In an attempt to retake control and spin the narrative, (misogyny!), Quinn began legal proceedings against the man.

Those proceedings have now been dropped. You would think that she’d do it quietly, but ex-strippers don’t do anything quietly. I have gone through her 3000 word diatribe so that you don’t have to, and I can summarize a few glorious points here:

“… I’ve been measured and silent and obedient for so, so, so long, but if I’m going to write about denied humanity it needs to be like this …”

Ahahahahahaha! You’re kidding right? Crazy like a harpy more like it.

“… You need to see unsanitized, reckless honesty just as much as I need to write it …”

Translation – she’s about to lie her ass off.

“… I’m writing this and examining it as I go through the fog of someone with PTSD …”

This really is a gross insult to people with actual PTSD, like returning soldiers for example.

“… I don’t know if the tears are out of frustration of having sunk a year and a half into this awful system for seemingly less than nothing, or if it’s out of relief …”

Oh please, you spoke at the fucking UN for chrissake, with that other fucking fraud, Sarkeesian.

“… My ex, who we’ll call Creep Throat because seeing his name makes a knot of anxiety rise in my throat, will be notified soon that the charges were dropped, but not why …”

I’m pretty sure he knows why – they were baseless charges, you psychopathic bitch.

“… I’m sure he’ll launch another salvo of flat out lies and spun truths …”

No, no, baby – we’re pretty sure you’re going to do that.

Then there’s a whole lot of blather, (at one point I think she’s trying to blame dropping the case on the fact that police murder non-whites, but that’s so far out there I just can’t be sure), but finally we get to this:

“… Going to court is like rolling the dice, the precedent you established isn’t up to you, and I didn’t want to risk becoming a tool in the next Creep Throat’s arsenal if we lost …”

And this:

“… You probably know that judges and juries can be biased and hold backward views and assumptions …”

Translation: I did not have a case, there was no case, the court would have ruled against me, and I only like going to court if I can guarantee that the judges will be biased for me.

“… The courts do not favor a lot of women simply for being who they are …”

The horror! You mean, you don’t just win because you’re a chick? Where’s the fairness in that??

“… Even beyond that, you have to be well behaved and silent about the proceedings, or risk pissing off the judge and giving the defense attorneys ammo to work with …”

What, so acting like a crazy bitch in court could hurt your ‘case’? That’s obscene, man.

“… I believe in standing up for sex workers and people living with mental health concerns …”

You don’t say?

“… and I don’t know what would have happened if I had kept my mouth shut when I was targeted two years ago …”

Yes, you do. You wouldn’t have spun this out into an entire career.

“… The spin is even more successful in these cases, because of how disconnected judges, lawyers, police, and juries often are from the internet …”

Fancy that. The law doesn’t consider all your internet ravings to be evidence. Who whouldda thought it?

“… What good does any of this do for anyone? It’s been almost two years now, and I desperately want to move on with my life …”

No, you don’t. You’ll spin this for as long as you possibly can.

“… I’ve done a lot of healing, a lot of building what I feel like are more workable pushes to improve the lives of people being abused online, and a lot of self-improvement. I’m getting to a place where I’m kind of ok …”

Could have fooled me. You still seem bat-shit crazy.

“… I have less energy to do casework at Crash, less energy to meet with tech partners to tell them how to do better and the ways they’re fucking up …”

Would you be upset if you didn’t have Zoe Quinn around more often telling you how you’re fucking up your job of which she knows next to nothing? No? I didn’t think so.

“… less energy to make my goofy video games about feelings and farts …”

This post, man, it’s like the gift that keeps on giving.

“… I’m tired of being afraid of being honest. I’m tired of watching people hand out “just go to the police they’ll protect you” while I silently scream and bite my tongue, because I know the advice-giver is giving horrible, ignorant advice …”

Terrible advice because how do you go to the police when they know that you’re just making shit up? As for tired of being honest, whoa boy.

“… if someone decides to go to the cops about their abuser they should be doing it with a more informed and prepared plan than I ever did …”

Must make up stuff better next time …

“… The least I can do to make that right is to be honest and open with the world …”

She sure does use the word honest a lot, doesn’t she? Now I wonder why that is …

“… And again, sorry if I’ve put my foot in my mouth through any of this unedited brain dump …”

No, no, Zoe. It’s been awesome. Thank you.