Whoever at Blizzard thought up the Childrens Week holiday is a goddam fucking genius whom I would love to sit down with and drink copious amounts of beverages whilst watching every Steve McQueen, Elliot Gould and Lee Marvin movie made between 1965 and 1976 as a bevy of nubile 24 year old female auto mechanics frolic in the background whilst playing naked twister with baby oil. Yes, I like whoever thought this up that much.
I like this holiday both for practical and philosophical reasons. Lets start with the philosophy first.
Think about it. You get your very own orphan to hang out with, whose parents were killed in a big war. Apparently we are all in a big war. And this kids parents were probably tortured and mutilated in horrible ways and, knowing the current expansion, then turned into yucky horrible undead things to shamble around whilst screaming, brrrrrraaaaaiiiinnnns. So your kid has issues. And what are you supposed to do with him? Why, drag him into battlegrounds so he can see you slaughtering people in horrible ways. Sure you can’t turn them into undead, but you can do just about anything else. The round table meeting at Bizzard must have been interesting on this one:
Dev1: Yeah, so anyway, what you’re saying is that they then have to take the orphan into battlegrounds and they have to kill a certain number of opponents and do stuff with the orphan watching the whole time. Are you fucking serious?
Dev2: Well, don’t forget we’ve just come off the love fool holiday, and that thing sucks balls …
[general murmers of agreement]
Dev2: … but they made us put it in to satisfy the pansies who think that videogames should be for everyone. So, if they want it for everyone then we need to cater for everyone, right? So we go from one holiday where you can easily convince your girlfriend and your grandmother to join in to the very next holiday where you can convince the really scary guy who punches pieces of glass into his nut sack to try out the game. But at the same time we’re disguising it so that the girls and pansies out there still think it’s a lovey-lovey holiday. So it’s effectively a win-win situation.
Dev3: Yeah, okay I get all that. But what happens when they find out?
Dev2: They won’t. People see what they want to see.
From a practical solution this holiday for me is the dogs bollocks, (which means it’s great). Now, don’t be under the mistaken assumptin that I’m actually going to do this holiday. I still think that all holiday events are vomit-inducing, even more so than my ex-girlfriend from grade 10. But this holiday gives the Alliance on Magtheridon a big boost. As some of you might know already from my posts, our battlegroup is awfully bad. It can’t get any worse. A lot of bloggers are moaning that this holiday event ruins battlegrounds, but ours can’t be ruined anymore than they already are. You can’t get any worse than a 3-0 loss in WSG, so an influx of PvE players with no idea what to do is just a normal day at the office for us. But the horde are having a rude shock. This could swing things, just for a week. We’ll only lose 1-0! And that’s so much better, right?